Thanks for Just Being There

I know that in December of two thousand twelve I wrote a post about love. It was titled "What is Love?" I do believe. In that post, I wrote about how my feelings and thoughts to that term were of corruption. I do still believe that is what love means, I do, but for special reasons and for 'certain someones,' I must say I have changed my mind a tad bit.

Throughout the course of three or so years, I have had relationships that have hurt me. They have cut me apart, torn me into shreds. I did get depressed for a while because of the break-up but not for long. I would soon forget. (My current state of madness is not because of any relation.)

I am trying to tell you people that love is something ever-so generous. The kind touch of freedom I feel is something worth such credible nature. I love it. I absolutely do. But right now, that kind touch of freedom has nothing but to tell me I cannot be in love. You do see reader, that I am in love at my current stature. I know that it will never work out because the lust I draw from has been in a martial condition for quite some time. It is wrong for my kind of loving. It is ever-so wrong.

Although they are in that condition, I have made plans about myself to capture a clear feeling of love from this man. I must sit back and hold it all in. Let my thoughts consume me. My ever-so sinful thoughts. It is wrong and I do understand, I do know it. Why must I hurt myself more and more trying to love which I cannot? In this, I do not understand.

If you are reading this, let me tell you, I am a darkened creature, not one of many likes. You make me pleased and happy under that frown so blue. You probably think I am such of stupidity. I do realize I am. I am sorry. (That is the first time I have ever said that term in a long, long time.) But let me tell you one last thing, even though I will never be able to have you, you will proceed to give me an attitude of enjoyment, happiness, and peace throughout the rest of my life.

The tears I have shed were plentiful as wrote this. I had to share a moment with you about this love and life thing I had going for me, and still as I finish this post about the craziest sin ever, the worst punishment yet to come, I do realize that if I can never have you, I will not get mad, I will just realize you were the bit of life that gave me a real chance to seek comfort and  everlasting care. Thanks for just being there.